How (Not) To Think
The worst part about being trapped in your own mind is being trapped in your own mind. We’ve all been there. There is some event in your life or some comment that was made that hit just a little too close to home and now you’re spiraling in a whirlwind of your own thoughts. It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just the straw that broke the camel’s back and unfortunately this camel is on Zoloft and is a little sensitive. There are times in life when the lemons you are given are hurled in such a way that it really does bruise. Unfortunately, if you are lucky enough to have OCD or anxiety that manifests in a similar manner, you will find yourself ruminating on these wounds and ultimately making them hurt more in the long run.
Much like attempting to not think of a purple elephant, there is really no use in trying to stop yourself from processing your own subconscious. In fact, it is far more exhausting to try and resist; acceptance is the clearest path to a life of freedom within your own mind. You must accept that you are not your thoughts, but rather the observer of your thoughts. You are a captivated, mesmerized audience member of your entire being’s pursuit to understand how it fits into the cosmos. So, for your own sanity, cut yourself a little slack as you try to navigate this womb to tomb rollercoaster. Allow yourself to think the thoughts that come and go, accepting them for exactly what they are: thoughts.
It’s going to feel very unnatural at first, but let even your biggest insecurities and fears and doubts all rush in. I promise you that your greatest fears lie in anticipation. The debilitating worry of potentially feeling negative emotions tethered to these thoughts is far worse than the ideas themselves. The panicked avoidance of these unpleasant thoughts is what will degrade your sense of agency the most. A radical acceptance, however, shows your brain that it can process and analyze as it so chooses. There is no sense in wrangling in a beast that is meant to roam free; let your mind think away and lean into the inevitability of uncertainty.