Courage

Those of us with OCD know how hard it can be to break through the barrier of fear to tell someone about our struggles.  This disorder thrives on secrecy and embarrassment.  We fear rejection and being labeled, and this can bring feelings of isolation, depression, and shame.  But those OCDers who have broken through their fears and shared their story can tell you that it brings a sense of freedom and relief to have other people know about what they considered their "secret" for so long.  It feels good to be known on that deeper level, to have people who can support you, and to help others who may be struggling with that same issue, but who haven't shared their story yet. 

I received an email tonight from a young person who asked me to post his/her story on this blog.  I want to thank this person for sharing - you never know who you can help by honestly revealing your struggles.  (Usually it turns out that many others are struggling with the same thing, but thought they were the only one.)  It took this person a while to work up the courage to share his/her story, and I hope you will show love and support in the comments!  I've posted it below exactly as it was written:

I have OCD. No doubt. I'm a 13 year old kid soon going into highschool. When i tell the few people i have told that i am diagnosed with OCD, they don't understand. "Oh, so you have to be really clean?" is the common response i get after telling people i have the obsessive-compulsive disorder. Nobody really realizes what OCD is until they have it. There are minor cases, and major cases. Mine is extremely major, at least to me. YOU, yourself, is the only one who can tell or not if your symptoms are high. I know inside that i am, due to the overtaking of my life. My life has been extremely difficult while trying to avoid this life-taking experience. I can't do simple tasks that most can do, without spending hours or days on it. Sounds crazy coming from a young kid like me, but trust me. As much as washing my hands could take 45 minutes to an hour. Putting something away usually has to be done 4 or 6 times. Not 5, i do nothing odd. I can't read a book without reading each page at least 18 times. My family is somewhat creeped out by it. They confront help for me, but i avoid everything, due to my OCD telling me to. It's almost impossible to even type my feelings right now, because of the amount of times i have to press the spacebar. If i swaer, that means a full night of praying, and no sleep until the sun rises. Sounds like religion, but no, pure rituals. I cry everynight. I need help. I feel trapped, i feel scared. I read "theocdblogger" and feel connection That's why i want to share my story with everyone else. If you have OCD out there, stop it before it takes over your life. Take it from a 13 year old.