Issues with Issues

For most people, reading a magazine is an easy, enjoyable activity. For me, however, it's not easy. In a previous post, I mentioned fear of sexual contamination by people of the same gender as I am. This carries over into other areas of life, not just with hand-washing. For example, if I'm reading a magazine that has a picture of someone of my gender, I usually won't go to the next page unless I look at a picture (on that page) of someone of the opposite gender, or if there isn't anyone, I will count to six on the same-gender person's facial features. This little ritual is to "undo" any possibility of gay-ness I might worry about if a same-gendered person's picture is the last picture I look at before I go to the next page. I usually do this by looking at the mouth (count 1), nose (count 2), eyes (count 3 and 4) and eyebrows (count 5 and 6). If there IS an opposite-gender person on the page, I'll look at them last and count to ten (a good number) on them: mouth (count 1), nose (count 2), eyes (count 3 and 4) and eyebrows (count 5 and 6), ears (count 7 and 8) , the front of the head (count 9), and the back of the head (count 10). This is also the case when I look at pictures on websites, like when MSNBC.com has pictures of celebrity sightings, etc. See how this could get frustrating and not at all relaxing?

The problem is, I want to read the magazines/websites. So I endure all these rituals.