And So It Begins

To the casual observer, I look pretty normal. Friendly, talkative, humorous--that's who I am, and that's the persona I project. My family and friends know, however, that behind these public traits I have a dark struggle that torments me everyday.

I have OCD.

OCD stands for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. These three letters have woven themselves deep into the fabric of my life since grade school. It wasn't until high school that I even realized that my "quirkiness" had a name. Since then, I've learned much about the disorder and myself. But while medication and therapy have helped, my OCD is never really gone.

If you are not familiar with OCD, Wikipedia has a good article about it. Some of the more important information is as follows:

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder; more specifically, it is an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but it is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive, distressing, intrusive thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions....

...The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent or are clearly excessive....

...The typical OCD sufferer performs tasks (or compulsions) to seek relief from obsession-related anxiety. To others, these tasks may appear odd and unnecessary. But for the sufferer, such tasks can feel critically important, and must be performed in particular ways to ward off dire consequences and to stop the stress from building up. Examples of these tasks: repeatedly checking that one's parked car has been locked before leaving it; turning lights on and off a set number of times before exiting a room; repeatedly washing hands at regular intervals throughout the day.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder. (2007, January 1). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 17:02, January 2, 2007, from
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Obsessive-compulsive_disorder&oldid=97821756

Many of the symptoms I have are frustrating and embarrassing. But I want to share them on this blog. (By staying anonymous, it will be easier for me to reveal these very private struggles.) Maybe you or someone you know has OCD. Maybe you thought you were the only one who had such embarrassing OCD symptoms. But maybe, just maybe, by seeing some of my hidden secrets, you'll realize that what you considered "strange" isn't so very strange after all.